Chapter 04: How to have a boyfriend and not die trying (part 2)

In my last entry I talked about me and my boyfriend, despite the picture, in this entry I'm not going to talk about us (but I could, though, I could talk about us every hour of every day), but I'm going to give you advice in order for you to have a very cute and fun relationship, like mine.

I don't think that this is actually advice, but for us it was easier to be around each other because we were friends first, for years, we weren't looking for a relationship, we just got to know each other, no strings attached. So probably that's my first advice: don't look for a relationship, just get to know people in a friendly manner and see what comes out of that.

When you are in a relationhsip there's two things that I think are vital: communication and love languages. Communication is essential in every relationship, not just in an amourous one. You have to tell the other person everything necessary to make the relationship work, uncomfortable conversations are a must when it comes to communication. Talk about everything and anything: dreams, hopes, needs (personal and involving the relationship), even things that bother you or you don't like.

Love languages are a concept that is trending on Tiktok, before that I don't think I have ever heard it (though a bit of research told me that it comes from a book), but if you think about it they're really important. This love languages are: physical touch, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation and quality time, and they're important because you have to learn to love your partner (or partners, in the case of a poliamorous relationship) in the way that they feel loved. 

Here's an example: I'm not really a physical touch person, I think I can express my love better in different ways, but my boyfriend is all about physical touch, so, how would he feel if I reject a hug? Or if I never make any efforts to express love in that way? Probably he won't feel loved, no matter how hard I try to show him in another way.

I'm not saying that you should cross your limits here or that you should do things that make you uncomfortable, but, if you really love that person, show them in a way that they would actually understand.

So, to sum up, don't look for a relationship, communication and love languages. Oh, and also, don't take things too serious, of course, if you are in a relationship, respect it, but, we're teenagers, not everything has to be a problem, try to figure things out without making a big deal out of them. And have fun, this are the perfect years to have fun on every sense of the word, go on dates, dance under the mooonlight, eat until you can bare it anymore. Be happy.

I hope this helps.

Love, Sophi.